Long Time: No Pizza

To keep your toddler from writhing on the floor of the pizza joint and screaming, "Would you please feed me?" you're willing to do about anything to maintain your last shred of dignity.

Like...

Make three trip to the bathroom, even though you know that she can't possibly have to go anymore. Then pause to take a picture in there just because it will waste that much more time.



Let her take pictures of her dad. You know, the one who sets really good examples.




Make indelible marks on her body.

Our optimism regarding her behavior at the art gallery opening that we were to attend next was all but dashed. (Thankfully she pulled it together, thanks to a giant bag of dried fruit and a bunch of adoration from strangers.)

Who's idea was it not to get a babysitter?