Don't you have power tools to play with?

Last night...

Hey Julia, would you date a guy with a temporary eye patch? Why? You mean, you would've dated me if I had an eye patch?(Would an eye patch have meant that it would have taken you even LONGER to ask me out?)

Would you date a guy with a prosthetic? You would? GROSS! What about a prosthetic penis? (Ummm...NO, I don't date GIRLS!) What about a prosthetic vagina? (Again...I don't DATE GIRLS!)What about a hermaphrodite? What about a.... (this continued for an hour!)

Tonight...

"You're not really a basketball fan. You haven't watched basketball all season. Why do you pretend that you care about the tournament if you don't watch basketball during the regular season? You don't really like basketball!"

"How come you put that pan on her head? I don't really think that she'd put it there. I don't think she could balance a pan on her head and pick up her toy. (Why would I lie about a kid putting a pan on her head?)