Friday, August 19, 2005

Don't worry -- I'm not dead...yet

Let it be known that contrary to my husband's publicity, I have neither the Haunta Virus or Mad Cow Disease. In fact, according to medical professionals, I have little more than a "GI Bug" (not to be confused with a "GI Jane" -- which I also do not have). Regardless of what anyone says, something is haunting my body, and I now politely ask it to leave. I spent approximately 60 hours in a delirious haze with a high fever, and after the receiving some wicked antibiotics, the fever broke. But no sooner had the fever broke and the realities of how terrible these antibiotics had set in did the doctor call to say..."Um, your tests came back negative, but since you've already started the medicines, you should not stop taking them." Easy for you to say -- your not the one who is supposed to let Cipro and some other unpronounceable drug eat your stomach lining for the next 10 days, thus experiencing the most terrible taste in your mouth, with not even alchohol permitted to chase the blues away.

The fever appears to be gone for good, but I have yet to keep anything in my stomach for more than 30 minutes for 48 hours now. And I'm very, very bitter about this. I have tortured my husband all night long with my longings for food, cheese pizza to be exact. Even as I sit here at 11:15 pm at night I'm still wondering if Donato's will deliver this late, knowing full well that this pizza is a decision I'd quickly regret.

In trying to find the silver lining in all of this, I can at least say that that pair of jeans that was snug last week will likely fit much better this week. But that won't last for long, because when this passes -- I have a lot of making up to do. Cheese pizza from Donatos being my first order of business.

Please allow me this opportunity to publically acknowledge my husband as "Husband/Father of the Year" for taking these past 2 days off of work to care for Ella so I could wallow in my misery with some semblance of peace.

Pardon the frank nature of this post. This is my way of celebrating my ability to sit upright for more than 10 minutes, and this is only thing I have to talk about. Unless you're intersted in knowing about Celebrity Break-ups or how the Playboy Playmates spend their days, because I have watched an embarassing amount of E! these past 3 days. I swear to you, when you have cheap cable, there is little else to watch mid-day and reading a book has not been an option.

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