Wednesday, September 13, 2006

Things that Won't Stop Hot Pepper Juice from Burning Your Flesh

Remember when I said that you should pickle your hot peppers? Did I mention that you should wear gloves when doing so?

Did I mention that I also, often, don't take my own advice?

The last batch of pickled peppers I made for Pat's breakfast sandwiches was a bit spicier than either of us could handle. My solution was to pickle a couple more pounds of just *mild* banana peppers (no hot red ones) to add to the jars, in an effort to diffuse the spiciness. When I cut up those little hot red peppers, I know to wear gloves or cut them with caution at the very least. But you know, those banana peppers, they are *mild* -- no gloves needed, right?

Oh no, no, no, ouch, no, its burning, no, should've worn gloves, nooooo......

At dinner there was some burning. Enough to make eating spicy salsa not sound that good. A little soap and water should do.

As we strolled the neighborhood after dinner, there was, well, some BURNING. Maybe some more soap, water, and perhaps some aloe??

By the time the kid went to bed, and I began to catch up on all of the stuff I can't do in her waking hours the burning was bad enough to warrant a trip to your favorite doctor and mine...Dr. Google.

With the help of the good doctor to the masses and my own "instinct", I tried...

...soaking it in milk.
...a glass of wine.
...squeeze lemon juice on it.
...rub on some vinegar.
...more wine.
...a handful of ice.
...a rag soaked in milk, lemon juice, and vinegar.
...pick a fight with Pat for distraction.
...just start rubbing the lemon directly on to my flesh.
...a swig of wine. And ibuprofen.
...let cold water run on it while bang your head on the mirror and curse. a book (can't concentrate) mario. (can't concentrate)
...rub vegetable on it and put a glove on. anyone?
...since we're out of bleach, why not a bleach pen. You know, scribble toxic
chemicals all over your hands.
...beat hand with cold rag.
...considering beating husband. You know, just to take your mind off of it.
(which I opt out of, considering he's staying up with me, and being nice.)

I think I finally fell asleep sometime after midnight, in a slightly drunken state, with my hand wedged between two ice packs and wrapped in a dish towel. This morning, the burning has ceased, but my hand is still pretty sensitive. Hard to know if that's the pepper juice, or the bleach, or the frost bite!?

Produce has got its revenge.

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