Hair and Muffins (Not to be confused with Hairy Muffins)

*She had me at muffin! This recipe for a vegan full meal muffin is easy and good. Ella thought it was pretty darn exciting to be able to have a muffin as her main course for lunch yesterday. Pat, on the other hand, politely suggested they were "light on taste" but he may have been expecting something a bit more dessert-like when he opened the box usually reserved for sweet baked goods sitting on the counter.

*I got my hair cut by someone new last night. I had to wait 30 minutes after my scheduled appointment time. She came out flustered and apologetic, and whisked me back to her chair. She seemed quite dismayed with the current state of my hair cut, which was okay because I was too. Hence why I was coming to her instead of the lady I have gone to for the past 3 years. As she frantically scrubbed my hair she asked "Do you use box color?". (Insult of all insults from a hair stylist!!) When I assured her that I didn't, she said "Are you sure?" Yeah, I think I'd remember coloring my own hair. Besides, my not so very authoritarian husband established that as the only rule when we were first married..."No home hair color." He said he couldn't handle the drama.

After waxing on at length about the how depraved and dry my hair was because of the inferior coloring product that had been used, in spite of explaining that I thought that breastfeeding was the cause, she hurried me back to her chair to go to work with the scissors. As she wacked and chopped away, she continued to decry how bad it looked. After cutting the back she offered, "I took care of the tail you had back here!" The tail!? It was a bit longer in back than in the front, but hardly a TAIL. Yeah lady, win me over by suggesting I have reformed mullet. She even said "Its awful! Its just awful to walk around with a bad hair cut. It ruins everything!" Gee lady, I thought the layers were little heavy, I didn't realize I was ruining my life with my offensive hair cut. She asked me the obligatory "What products do you use?" question. When I offered that I do, in fact, use salon products (bought by my mother-in-law at wholesale price, of course!), she consented "Well, I guess I can't be mad at you. You are using salon products!" What a mercenary!

As she turned on the blow dryer and was practically running around my head to get it dry, I realized that the women sitting next to me was waiting to get her own hair cut by the same lady. She had been done with the dryer hood for at least 10 minutes. The stylist spritzed my hair with some foreign substance from a 3 foot distance then shuttled me towards the door as she called from behind "Come back in 6 weeks or less because its going to take at least 2 cuts to make it look decent!" The whole experience took about 20 minutes.

To add insult to injury, just that very day, this stylist had been promoted to "Master Stylist" meaning her price was now $15 higher than it had been the day before, when I had made the appointment.

My hair looks pretty good but I don't know that my ego could withstand a repeat visit.